Getting to no is often a negotiation. It’s a multi-step process of agreement, rather than flat out acceptance. Here’s what you need to do to have your “no” accepted.
Don’t be afraid to say No in these situations
Saying “no” at work is sometimes necessary. The key is knowing when to push back.
Here are nine things it’s totally reasonable to say “no” to at work:
- Ineffective tasks: the cost of ineffective assignments doesn’t just apply to your company’s bottom line. It impacts your work, too.
- Things that don’t clearly contribute to your goals and responsibilities: you deserve to know what is expected of you and what you’re working toward — something I didn’t always do at my first job.
- Unnecessary meetings
- Responding to messages 24 hours a day: work is important, but so is having a social life — boundaries clarify when one ends and the other begins.
- Requests that conflict with your values: lump in the back of your throat? That’s probably when to draw the line.
- Unrealistic deadlines on low-priority projects: there’s a difference between asking employees to hustle and demanding the impossible. And agreeing to projects that you can’t deliver on reflects poorly on your performance.
- Writing a reference for someone you don’t fully endorse
- Extra work — when you’ve already taken on additional assignments
- Work that could be better accomplished by someone else
Saying “no” is a part of being a working professional. But there is a right way to do it: Make the reason for your rejection known and, if you can, offer a solution or alternative. That way, you don’t have to sacrifice on the quality of your work or overschedule yourself and everyone involved knows what to expect.
How to say No professionally
Don’t just say no, explain the reason why.
Simply saying no isn’t effective. Explaining your reasoning will give you a much better chance of having your “no” be well-received and agreed upon. You always want to provide a sound reason, not an excuse, as to why you’re saying no. This helps the other person see things from your point of view and respond more rationally rather than reactively.
Be rational.
Unfortunately, we can’t just say no to all of the things we don’t want to do. When you say no to something or someone, make sure you have a truly valid reason. Saying no too often leads to being labeled as uncooperative, not a team player, or a frustrating employee.
Propose an alternative.
The easiest way to have your “no” stick is to provide an alternative plan. If you can’t do something on a specific day or time, see if there’s another timeframe that works for both you and the other person. If you don’t have the bandwidth to complete a full project, offer to do a small part of it. The key is to be flexible.
Compromise.
There’s almost always room to compromise, so use that to your advantage. If it’s more a matter of time commitment rather than scope of work, suggest an alternative timeline. This allows you to still do the task you’ve been asked to do but not take over your workday and prevent you from finishing whatever you were already working on. Remember that compromise is a two-way street, so all parties involved have to be willing to give and take a little.
Be honest, to a point.
You never want to lie to get out of doing something, but you also don’t need to go overboard on the details. There’s a difference between stating why you can’t do the work and turning that why into a full-blown story. If you have a scheduling conflict, just say that with a brief explanation of why you can’t reschedule your pre-existing commitment. It’s more compelling when it’s brief and it’s more believable. Strangely enough, the more details you add to an explanation, the more it can sound like you’re making things up even when it’s 100% true.
All of the above tactics lay the foundation for a solid no. Depending on who you’re saying no to, you’ll have to adjust your approach.
Saying no to your boss or colleagues.
Saying no to your boss or your colleagues requires a diplomatic approach. It’s important to be strategic and to have a very solid reason for saying no. You should have a clear explanation and alternative suggestions prepared ahead of time, and be aware of the high possibility of being rejected. If your first no is rejected, you can come back with an alternative plan and try to negotiate. With your boss, be careful to not come across as insubordinate. With your colleagues, don’t come across as entitled or standoffish.
Saying no to your children.
With home now functioning as both office and school, there’s a new family dynamic to navigate and a fine line to balance the two. There will always be times when you need to focus solely on your work without interruptions. When saying no to children, it’s crucial to explain the reason why. This doesn’t mean they’ll be happy with that reason or fully accept your “no,” but it will help them understand. You should also let them know when you’ll be available again, so they don’t feel like you’re ignoring them all day in favor of your work.
Saying no to your pets.
Is your most distracting co-worker now your cat or dog? Does your furry friend beg for attention during the day or try to help you by laying on your computer or other important documents? Saying no to a pet is often the hardest no of all. I’ll be honest with you here—sometimes it’s worth it to just give in and give them a few minutes of snuggles or playtime. It’s a welcome mental break and the best stress reliever.
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